im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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