Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So squirting runs in the family.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
