"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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