Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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