brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
