my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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