god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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