I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize