I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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