She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
