Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
