hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
