i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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