She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
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I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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