i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
