does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I met the friendliest cop last night
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize