Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
