So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
