That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
