Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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