she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize