Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
