We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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