She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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