Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
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I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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