Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
