The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
