Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
