I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
