brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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