There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
