Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Its about making memories worth repressing
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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