Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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