waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
