I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
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I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
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The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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