We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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