I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's blow job season.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
