have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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