we have officially lost it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
