Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
