if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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