i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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