i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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