I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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