oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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