normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
