Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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