We won't sleep together?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
