Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
