Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
