Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
