she was so not down for the gang bang
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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